Arctic October surprise

As the fall falls on us like a mattress from a passing truck, you will at least twice find yourself underdressed and unimpressed.

It has been at least three weeks since you called your nearest distant relative which clearly states that the parting shot of 'goofball' was probably better left unuttered.

You are not prone to being a prone pawn but rather enjoy a prompt prawn for dinner.

In the attempt to gather nuts for the winter you will need a bigger wagon and a larger stump.

You will lose weight while you wait for Tom Waits to evolve into a lose change stranger with daffodil palms and tear drop smiles.

You have

you have a silly nose

you have but moments to live. . . think fast

you have everything you ever wanted

you have got it going on and on till the break of the dawn of man

you have a suprise in your shorts

you have got to be kidding

open doors would soon be shit

You have a profound view of really boring subjects.

You have often wondered aloud which way it is to get where you are going, but you rarely ponder where you have just been.

If the next month does not make you rich it will make you think.

Keep your guard up and your stereo down, especially when in a vehicle this week as the police are wondering where that loud booming noise is coming from.

Penn and Teller: War on Drugs - Google Video

AN amazing half hour. The BEST show on the war on drugs I have seen to date.

Take a minute and enjoy the cool hard facts. Penn and Teller really nailed this one.

Penn and Teller: Bullshit! War on Drugs - Google Video

super california luscious extra halitosis

your top three diseases have diminshed and gone into the west.

your fingernail is connected to the earlobe.

amazing things are happening all around you while you sleep, you just don't seem to have the tenacity to wake up and smell the roses.

you used to be a morning person.

you will find yourself in the back of a large car awating extradition to a small country near Brazil.

dark nights and hot summer

You will wake up and see that the nights seem shorter and the days seem hotterer.

You have a misplaced sense of direction, but it will not affect you much as you stumble towards the couch.

You are ever optimistic in your endless cynical approach to acitivsm, just give in to the fatalistic blown fuse approach to the world. It will get you exactly where you are.

I sense that you are scoffing at material things like tricycles and pop tarts. Why is unclear to me, but I think it has something to do with your childhood accident.

Surely you remember the time that a clown laughed at you.

He is still laughing at you, but now he is serving five to ten in Gitmo.

Open Door Politicy

You will feel a strange emptiness in your wallet. (taxed much?)

You have never felt felt that felt so smooth.

You will soon add to your open door policy a screen door clause.

The winning numbers will be 7 9 23 15 35 - 18

You will give half the winnings to charity.

you are getting sleepy

first come first served
majority rules
seating by class
thanks for the fools

social dictators
devices of force
personal issues
and person divorce

go back to sleep.

To quote Lee,

"The problem with me is that I never finish what I

In the future

Seven seconds will equal the time it takes to cook a meal for four as well as the length of time it takes to wash clothes in a supertechwash machine invented (reverse engineered from aliens actually) by a farmer from Idaho.

Once the walls we build around each nation of this Earth provide a good nights rest for all the inner inhabitants thereof, we will feel a whole lot better about our neighbours and then we can say, with full passion of heart, "Mr. Bush, Tear Down This Wall!!!" (cheers)

Once we have checked everyone's ID and issued national ID cards with chips implanted in our skin, we we be able to track and sell to starving children in the Sudan with the same efficiency with which we buy condos in Milan.

http://www.mercycorps.org/

The rich, who are rotten, are poor.
The poor, who are rotten, are blind.
The middle class, has no idea.
The rest of the world needs therapy

it will always be a close race

In politics, the two party system found it can squeeze the little guys buy having the corporate media always cover each election as it is REALLY close.

This way, you never are inspired to try a new party.

You find happiness in odd places, like Canada and the southern part of North Carolina.

Expect two neighbours to suddenly move away from your hometown.

You are wearing a shirt that says a lot about you (behind your back).

forever temporary

You have just got a long term position in a short term company.

You will be asked to sign a pre-nuptual agreement and a post-nuptual write up of where your relationship went wrong.

You seem to be engaged to all the wrong events and this bothers you terribly.

Your heart aches for true love and for the huge steak you had last night (which is odd because of your recent vow of vegetarianism).

poliwhadilywhodilly

This chasm between policy and people, between politics and commonplace life continues to grow. and with it a disdain,a polarization of us against them.

the nays have it, and they won't give it back.

see forever

You will hear a strange noise coming from outside your dream.

A neighbour will pass by your house at an unusually early hour in the morning.

An unknown visitor will pass through your town, but get funny looks from the townsfolk and will leave saddened.

You will disocver one of the best friends that you never knew you had, and he will be alot like Yoda.

Being guided by thrills will either save you, or break you.

Now, for the inspirational thought of the day:

Keep opening doors

To the Layman

To the layman everthing seems to be alright.

People often tell you that you are extremely deep, then when you leave they add that you are not very wide.

I suggest you get a second opinion, because this one of yours is pretty whack!

You will meet a strange person when you go into the next public restroom. The will say something like, 'shake it more than twice and you're playing with it'.

Next time you are downtown, you will stand facing a brick wall and yell at it in some made up language that sounds like Klingon.

There is a hill with your name on it

The grass will grow tall as you walk past it.

You have the strange feeling that someone is following you as you drive down I-5 at 8:04 in the morning.

It has been awhile since you called on any of your dead relatives to solve any of your personal problems. They are waiting patiently.

After a short snooze you find those pillow lines on loved ones faces to be super cute.

You will not use all your minutes next month on you personal cell phone as it will be lodged in the back of a shiny black pickup truck that gave you a ride home from the 'seahawks superbowl win game' (which is a new scratch ticket sold at clubs to make up for the money lost on betting on the dolphins {who were not even in the playoffs, you should have called me on that one}).

You smell like you've just seen the presidential debate from 2004 of the Bush/Kerry campaign. Take a shower, please!!!

build to spill - So this is the new year?

build on it, don't dwell on it.

'Your assumptions about your fellow man are wrong, of course I could be wrong about that.'

There is an ever increasing ring of fire emnating from your aura, at first it looked like a halo, but now it is more like a smoke ring from a blazing circus show.

You will find yourself characterized in a movie about small minded dim-witted, morons, who incessantly defend racial and sexual abuses. Not to worry, it's just a movie and you would never really do such things. . . . anymore. . . . after reading this.

Your family has its own unique smell as they do not have their own unique bathroom (the outhouse idea is old and worn out, seek a new architect puh-leeaze.).

Now that others are listening to your fav music, you don't like it anymore.

Seeing is the end of believeing, and 'believe you me, I do believe' {you will get bonus points if you know who wrote those lyrics}.

'may the terror of war be overrun by the beauty of peace' Savannah -msjonesie~ (mod for the tribalsouls yahoo group)

hot rod

Hot rodding will get you everywhere.

You will again relay the story of a dinner past, the one you have relayed a thousand times, but again, noone will be paying any attention.

You will spill out onto the street with music guiding your feet.

You will give thanks for the peace and quite from thew normally noisy neighbours. In fact you will call them on the phone and say, "HEY!!!!! Thanks for nothing."

Your potatoes are burning in the oven.

You will wear red in the next week, and it will scare a small child.

You will wear out your welcome. . . . . . . . . Matt.

You have nothing to say about the world, yet you will blab on and on.

You will be busy breaking up perfectly matched sweaters and ties.

Sir, your ozone seems to be depleted.

You lost something so precious and irreplacable that your life could never be the same without it, but not to worry, it goes on sale next week at the mall.

If you go through life thinking that everyone is a fricking idiot, you'll probably be sorely disappointed. And you'll probably never really see how great some of the people around you really are. . . you frickin idiot.

Every day that you wear white after labour day you will pay dearly for the cleaning bill.

No matter how high the hill, or how low the valley,
No matter which window's slam in your face,
No matter how many times you fail
'Keep opening doors'
It is the only way to find where you should hang that wreath.

You will need surgery if you keep sitting on that funny bone.

You will need a drink if you keep talking with your mouth open.

You have many friends, but none of them are brave enough to tell you the truth about your behind.

Your frail funny bone will suffer a fracture Friday in a frantic fanatical fiasco.

Rocks are people too.

If you live your life guided by thrills, you might end up taking huge pills.

Go easy on the eyes.

Spare me my ribs.

YES!!!

The Operation was a success.

You found what you had been looking for, but had forgotten where you had hid the thing that was quite important indeed, I'll say, yes, quite, Uh huh, um hmm.

Over the years you have grown more politically cynical, which has caused you to divorce yourself from the 'franchise' parties and go with the more fringe parties.

Like the "Vegan-crossdressing-saladdressing-hopscotch-grouphappiness-overlooked-underlaid" Party.

The "Love thine enemy, Don't talk to strangers" motto always seemed like an odd way to live. SO you've chosen to talk to your enemy's strangers about thine love.

Answer the next phone call on the third ring. It will be the delivery guy, but he will have forgotten your salad and root beer. . . again.

Poems do not have to rhyme to make sense.

Art is in the eye of the beholder, unless he or she has worn protective glasses.

Everyone has their fifteen minutes of fame, but only after their twelve weeks of hellish nightmares.

Halloween will not come and go this year. It will come, and then stick around through the holidays and then leave on the second of January, next year.

Wear red.

Peace, please.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Scott~

Hello Halloween

You wore orange in the past and will wear a smile in the future.

Your largest critic will have a heart attack.

You smell like you've just seen a ghost.

Somewhere a politician is plotting to attract your vote like honey to a tea cup.

You have the heart of a strong person, but it is in a jar on your desk at home (thanks Stephen king).

Your days are numbered, but only because we use this calendar type system. Had we selected to letter the days instead of numbering them then your days would be lettered (and so would everyone else's).

Oh, and if we had chose to letter days then perhaps there would only be 26 days in a month. Er. . . would that be in countries where they speak English.

Do the French have 26 letters in their alphabet?

Gee, this lettering system would be complex, no wonder we abandoned it.

But wait, if we had a universal language, one that everyone spoke, then we could have uniform calendars.

And we all could also wear uniforms because, why does any individual need to be unique.

And we could also think and act alike.

It would be good to report anyone that did not comply with the 'Conformed code of life'.

You will conform well.

Won't you?



I know you will!









NOT!









NOT!

(see, now it is the whole -double negative thing- Spooooooky)
{Now you must decide how diabolical you will be!!!}









{or NOT}



[I'll stop now]