Tuesday, September 20, 2005

There on the table


You lost your fav pair of socks.

They are under the couch.

You lost your sense of smell.

It is under investigation.

A strange man will come to your birthday party dressed as you.

It will not be a costume party, rather an 'Invite a strange man to your birthday party dressed as you' party.

They are all the rage in Sweden. . . in the year 2034.

TV will cease to exist over the air for three years while it undergoes construction.

The Internet will take over by allowing you to watch your fav shows right after they have been filmed.

Like 'Sex in the Chevy' (A soon to be proposed sitcom about smalltown love), 'Filmore Girls' (A dreadful attempt to emulate the raving success of the 'Gilmore Girls', which propelled several cast members into congressional seats), and 'King of the Simpsons-o-rama' (which will be a spin off, revival, renewal for three beloved television shows The Simpsons - Futurama - King of the Hill).

You will read a book about people.

It will make you think.

You will loan the book to your pal and he will not return it for two years.

The door knob will hit you where the good lord split ya.

There will be peace in the valleys, but you folks in the hills, wear earplugs.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

King of the Word


You spoke out.
Sure it made others laugh, but that little old lady in the corner cried.

It's easy to be the bully when the person you are pushing around walks with a cane and a couple aspirin. [I know because I used to work in a rest home, but the funny thing is, I'd wake up the old folks about two thirty in the morning to sing old war songs and Indian leg wrestle. ]

Anyway, back to your psychic reading -

You smell funny today. You always look funny, but today, the smell. . .

You have not embarked on any great mission for at least six months, and it is time to start writing down a game plan.

No, use the blue ink.

You have endorsed candidates for failure and corruption.

You have not stood up to those who have sat next to you.

You have not called on the forces that gave you their phone number just last week.

BUT, (and it is a big but)

You have seen through the muck and the shucks enough to play the blame game.

Congrats, on your new jacket.

Make sure you don't leave it on the back of a wooden chair at a nice coffee spot you've only been to twice (the barista actually likes the coat and it won't end up in the lost and found, if you know what I mean).

Best wishes and

OOH, I almost forgot. . . BUY all the 'Acts of God' insurance you can buy.

I know you will have a great day (except for you, Phil, wear your running shoes today, not that they will help you much),

PSychicblogger